What's a Twerk?
by Rebellegirl
Summary: Hazel is scouring the world-wide web when she stumbles upon a Miley Cyrus video. Percy walks in when Hazel pops the question. This leads to Hazel learning about modern day things, like Leo's iPad. Note: iPads aren't cutting boards. Neither are laptops, TV's, or Nooks. And Gangnum Style has nothing to do with gingham. Technology, ugh.
1. What's a Twerk?

Hazel clicked on the video labeled 'Party in the USA' by the infamous Miley Cyrus. The video was so awful, and that horrible voice, ugh!

"What'cha watching?" Percy strolled in, sharpening Riptide.

"What is this awful thing?" Hazel pointed at the screen.

Percy gritted his teeth. "Miley Cyrus."

"What's that?" Miley Cyrus was doing her all-famous move.

"A twerk."

"What's a twerk?"

Percy almost started sweating. He grabbed the collar of his shirt and tugged at it.

"Can you teach me how?"

"No." Percy started walking away.

"But," Hazel gave him the famous kitten eyes and puppy lip.

"Um..." Percy tried to resist the look. Hazel looked straight at him, and Percy gave in. "Fine."

Percy grabbed his knees and leaned down, sticking his rump in the air. He started twirling it around, synchronizing to the music.

"Percy," Hazel started backing away from Percy.

"What?"

"I think I'll go sit in Nico's emo corner and re-think my lives."


	2. iPad's aren't Cutting Boards

Hazel was cooking her famous Gumbo. The crew liked it more than Leo's 'Hand-seared Fish'. Especially Percy. Percy hates it.

"Hey Hazel." Someone said from behind her.

"Hey Leo."

"What'cha doing?"

"I'm making gumbo." Hazel went back to chopping the vegetables.

"Okay. I just wanted to show you this," Leo pulled out his iPad.

"Awesome! Another cutting board!" Hazel snatched Leo's iPad. "I needed a clean one."

Hazel started to chop vegetables on Leo's iPad.

"No! Hazel! That's my iPad!" Leo shrieked and tackled Hazel.

"Hey! That's the cutting board!"

"My iPad!"

"The cutting board!"

"The iPad!"

"The cutting board!"

"What are you doing?" Frank snapped. He grabbed Leo and tossed him off of Hazel. "Are you okay?"

"He tried to steal the cutting board he gave me!"

"That;s my iPad!"

"It's a cutting board!"

"An iPad!"

"A cutting board!"

"Guys!" Frank snapped. "Hazel, that's an iPad. Not a cutting board."

"What's an iPad?" Hazel asked.

"Um," Frank started.

"Does this help?" Leo asked. He hit the power button on the iPad and the screen flashed on.

"Yes, that probably helps." Frank said. "Hazel?"

Hazel was staring at it with a horrified look on her face.

"Hazel," Frank waved a big hand over her face.

"The cutting board," Hazel panted. "It's alive! Frank save me!"

"Hazel," Frank said. "It's an iPad. It's technology. It's not alive, it's just a screen. Like TV."

"TV?"

"I'll tell you later. You've learned too much today." Leo said.

"Agreed." Frank nodded.

"Finally, you two have finally agreed on something." Hazel teased. She scampered away.

"Hey!" The two boys said, then ran after Hazel.


	3. Ustinjay, Eiberbay

_Man, I need to get Hazel off the computer._ Leo thought. _She's been on for four hours straight. What if she,_

_No!_

"Hazel!" Leo screamed. He started running. Leo had to make sure Hazel hadn't done _it_.

"What?" Hazel yelled.

"What are you watching?" He asked. He walked up behind Hazel.

"It just pulled up." Hazel shrugged. She hit the 'play' button.

_Oh whoa_

_Oh whoa_

_Oh whoa_

_You know you love me, I know you care_  
_Just shout whenever, and I'll be there_  
_You are my love, you are my heart_  
_And we will never ever ever be apart_

_Are we an item? Girl, quit playing_  
_We're just friends, what are you saying?_  
_Say there's another and look right in my eyes_  
_My first love broke my heart for the first time_  
_And I was like..._

_Baby, baby, baby oooh_  
_Like baby, baby, baby nooo_  
_Like baby, baby, baby oooh_  
_I thought you'd always be mine (mine)_

_Baby, baby, baby oooh_  
_Like baby, baby, baby nooo_  
_Like baby, baby, baby ooo-_

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Leo screamed. He grabbed a hammer from his toolbelt and started smashing the computer.

"Leo? What are you doing?"

"Saving you!" Leo smashed the computer more.

"Valdez!" Frank yelled. "Don't you know it's _my _job to save her?"

"What's all the yelling?" Piper asked.

"Zhang, I'm saving her from _it_." Leo said.

"It?" Frank asked.

"Ustinjay, Eiberay." Leo nodded. Frank started breathing heavily.

"Thank you." Frank breathed. He grabbed Hazel's hand. "Don't you _ever_ do that again."

"Do what?" Hazel asked innocently.

"_That_." Frank tugged at his collar.

"You mean the, _Oh whoa_" Hazel started singing.

"NO!" Everyone on the Argo 2 screamed. They all ran to Hazel to try and shut up up.

"Hit her on the head! It's nature's snooze button!" Percy yelled. Percy banged her on the head.

"Ow..." Hazel groaned.

"JACKSON!" Frank screamed. Percy ran for it. Banging and crashing was heard from the kitchen.

"We've gotta stop Hazel from going on YouTube." Annabeth said.

"Agreed." Piper said.


	4. Mountains of Dew aren't pretty

Hazel got up from her bed. She was thirsty.

She walked to the fridge, and opened it up.

"What to drink, what to drink." Hazel mumbled. She looked on the top shelf, and saw a shiny can labeled 'Mountain Dew'.

_Sounds legit_. Hazel thought. She grabbed the can and took a large sip.

"Hey, Hazel, what'cha do-, oh gods! No!" Piper shouted. She knocked the can out of Hazel's hand.

"Piper! What are you-, oh gods!" Annabeth looked at Hazel, who as licking the soda off of the floor. "What's up with her?"

"Mountain Dew." Piper shivered.

"What. Are you saying?" Hazel looked up at the two girls, her eye twitching violently.

"Quick! Restrain her!" Annabeth shrieked. The teens jumped on Hazel and pinned her wrists down.

"Get off of me!" Hazel screamed. Her mouth started foaming, and her eye twitched even more.

"What is going on?" Jason rubbed his eyes, tightening up his bathrobe.

"Get me some ductape!" Piper yelled as Hazel struggled even more.

"Okay." Jason paused for a moment, then ran off and got a few rolls of Annabeth's 1D ductape.

"What's that doing here?" Annabeth looked surprised.

"I found it in your room." Jason shrugged. Annabeth shrugged.

"It doesn't matter!" Piper screamed. "Hazel's gonna blow!"

"Too late..." Jason looked at Hazel.

Hazel's mouth was foaming even more and her eye was violently twitching.

"MOUNTAIN DEW!" Hazel shrieked and threw the two girls off of her. Panting, she ran to the fridge again. After throwing the moldy Mac&Cheese and the mashed potatoes container and getting it all over poor Jason, she found another can and gulped it down.

Piper couldn't take anymore of this. Mainly because Jason looked disgusting. She grabbed a baseball hat and whacked Hazel down.

* * *

"Wh-, what happened?" Hazel rasped. Immediately, searing pain from her head made her fall back into her bed.

"You had Mountain Dew." Piper gritted her pearly white teeth.

"What's that?"

"Bad for demigods. Except Frank. He's the only one who drinks that."

"Why does my head hurt?" Hazel winced.

"I whacked you with a bat because you were going crazy."

"Am I the only one who thinks you should've just locked Hazel in a closet like the time when Leo was given beer?" Frank said.


	5. Micro Blinking Wave

**Ugh, this update is well behind schedule. I'm so sorry! I've been distracted by school, plus Gravity Falls has started up again, and so has Steven Universe (lol I love kiddie-shows). Plus, I do have something called a life. Well, I think I do.**

Hazel stared at the see-throuh box. She poked one of the buttons. A beep came from it, and Hazel jumped in surprise. "What is that?" Hazel squeaked.

Piper walked in the kitchen, wiping down a decorative plate. She looked at Hazel, then started walking away slowly.

Leo finished washing a bowl. "Oh, that's a microwave."

Hazel blinked at him.

"It heats up your food with microwave radiation."

Hazel blinked again.

Leo sighed. "When you push the butons, that's how long your food heats up."

Hazel blinked once again.

"Push button, food ready."

Hazel blinked again.

"Stop blinking!" Leo shouted.

"I have to blink!" Hazel yelled. "Otherwise my eyes get dry!"

Leo facepalmed. "Just-, heat up the pizza."


End file.
